Rediscovering your Joy after Loss

Lets play a game of Rose, Thorn, Bud. Gardener, and Seed

Rose, Thorn, Bud, Gardener and Seed game. I was introduced to this game or exercise a few weeks ago from a dear co-worker/friend. She had read an article that referenced this exercise as a way to bring happiness to your life. She shared with me that I often have a positive attitude to things and look for ways to turn negative things into a positive. Despite the loss in my life, I look for ways to turn loss into love.

So the game or exercise is very simple to follow.

Rose- a high point over the past few weeks

Thorn- a low point over the past few weeks

Bud- is something you’re looking forward to/feeling hopeful about

Gardener- someone who supports you

Seed- something to work on or grow into.

Most support and bereavement groups encourage the use of journaling. Writing down your feelings and experiences that happen during the day. I have encountered many people who often don’t know where to begin when writing. Suggestions of answering a set of certain questions is offered as a way to get started.

I have found journaling very therapeutic in my grief journey. I find that it helps me get my feelings out of my head and onto paper. There can be times where the writing can be more than one page and then other times when it is just a sentence or two. Either way I am getting the feelings out. It provides a tool to see how far I have come along in my grief. Sometimes the reflection is welcoming and I embrace the joy that comes with how I am able to move forward without John here. And then there are times when I’m frozen and I’ve been drawn into the past and remain there. Remain there to feel those memories again even if not real and embrace the joy of what once was.

Since my friend introduced this exercise/game to me, I have made more of an effort to incorporate this into my journal entry/reflection time. I simply take each one and name a person/thing to each one. It is easy and helpful as a tool to start writing and healing during the grief process.

So here is my Rose, Thorn, Bud, Gardner, and Seed for this blog post.

Rose- the audience this blog reaches. This blog is about 1 1/2 yrs strong. I hope that it continues to be fruitful

Thorn- those persons who shared something about John and had me rethinking/replaying things in my head.

Bud- an upcoming wedding. Honored to be celebrating a couple so deserving of a love story to create

Gardener- the friend who shared this new game with me and I in turn share with you. Passing it forward.

Seed- I continue to practice self care. Going to the gym and taking time to journal. Don't let others tie your shoelaces on shoes that they don't walk in.

With each journal entry and post I make, I am gifted with joy at rediscovering myself without John and reflecting on memories shared.

I encourage each of you to try this exercise/game. I think you may be pleasantly surprised at the joy you rediscover amidst your loss.

On an added note the friend who shared this exercise with me is active in her church as an ordained pastor whose members often call her Joy. So it's fitting that I find joy in rediscovering myself and joy in journaling. Maybe it is all God-cidental. And maybe like the song below says we can find that there will be joy in the morning

Peace,

ED